don't get married...

... while you're in residency.
you're poor, you're tired, and when you go out to try on wedding dresses, you're all flabby from eating crap on-call and have zits and wrinkles.

on the other hand, procrastination is terrifically easy!  sitting in the MICU staring at poo samples and ABGs is a great way to pass the time.  the RNs are terrific (they do EVERYTHING -- shove tubes in patients, draw arterial bloods, titrate meds, put together flowsheets) and if they like you they will include you in their midnight dinner delivery orders.  Everything in the MICU is electronic so no more paper notes just point and click.  bing.

MICU madness

Residency is getting a little easier, but I finally have a month on a service that keeps demanding that I use my brain (good luck to them with that).

The MICU team is huge (2 medical students, 3-4 interns, 4 PGY-2s, 1 critical-care/pulm fellow, 1 attending for 12 beds+consults).  There are a lot of great brains on the team, but what kills me is the lack of organization.  Who divides up the list in the morning?  When?  Who oversees the medical student's patients? Who oversees the interns? When is the day over/what time is sign-out?  Does the attending want consults last?  How do days off work?

On the other hand, rounds are always at 9am and the post-call team goes first.  And mostly I report to my 2nd year, who then staffs things with the fellow who can call the attending who has final say on accepting/declining all my hard work (it's not really hard work).

More later.  Including ostomy-sex worker stories.

residency = hard

Ugh people please don't do heroin it ruins your veins and then I am forced to poke you about 30 times just to get a simple line started so that we can give you medicine and fluids and you don't die of something stupid like pneumonia, OKAY????

Okay.

Also, don't argue with me when I tell you that it was the IV drug abuse that ruined your vasculature.  So what if you never shot up your left upper arm -- you can still have horrible problems there from shooting up elsewhere.  So SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!  How are you going to tell me that IV drugs aren't "that bad" for you?  Patient, you make me crazy!  CRAZY!  Also, I do not care how big a badass YOU think you are.  If you are in the prisoner unit of my Emergency Department, you are a loser.  Once again, shut up your face.

Thank you.

pffff residency = easy

MMMMmm yeah can't say I've worked a whole lot since August ended.  Let's see ... pediatric emergency department, elective month following a bunch of lawyers around, and now a 9-5ish schedule doing ultrasound.  NOT BAD.

Well I guess it all depends on how much effort one puts in -- nothing is hard if you just half-ass it!
Yes, worst intern ever.

I just got back from a 5-day trip to the east coast where I had so much fun attending Cooper's wedding to James.  It was really a dream wedding -- everything went perfectly and looked gorgeous.  I'm so happy for them both.  Now I'm newly panicky and stressed about my own wedding.  And it's just not that important a thing but trying to arrange a Los Angeles wedding from Detroit is just the worst.  I am burning the rest of my intern year vacation time to plan this out.

Wish me luck.  And if anyone knows a stationer who does Korean lettering, hook it up!

what? what's going on?

Hello Hi Yes I have not been updating my sad little blog.

Last month was spent at Children's Hospital of Michigan where I made it 3 weeks feeling great and then went down with the flu after my last shift.

This month is spent in court learning about medical malpractice (it's my elective month).  It is awesome.  Court is scary.  These local circuit court judges have the power to take away your license (and your ability to earn a living), your job, your house, and decide who gets to keep your kids.  Gaaaaaah shivers

Here are some pictures of Red Wings hockey.  What is a Red Wing?  A wheel with a wing attached.  Thank you Detroit.  In these pictures, they are busy defeating the Washington Capitals.

And here is a picture of the creepy 70's time travel underground tunnel system connecting my hospital complex:

Went to Grand Rapids to visit Melissa.  Super fun, cute town.  Reminds me of Berkeley just a little bit.  But with a lot more Christians (scary -- churches everywhere).  Here is a picture of a football-shaped french toast I ate.  I wish I took more pictures of the actual architecture there, or even a few of me and Melissa but I guess I was too busy having fun.

Time for more Lemon pictures:

children, right?

... so surgery's been over for 2 weeks and I haven't posted anything new. Mostly because sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to catch-up from last month. It's true that I was fully recovered like 4 days after the rotation ended, but the amount of work I let slide by that month is catching up to me.

Things to do now:

WATCH CAL FOOTBALL (check)

read for conference and journal club (oh yeah!)

read pediatrics so I am less of a doofus when on shift at Children's (too late, forgot post-infectious glomerulonephritis was a thing)

schedule Step 3 (looks like November)

plan wedding (crap)

host Dan's family over Labor Day weekend (cleaned house with Dan, check)

log hours, procedures, and finish online IRB training stuff (ugh)

set up my October schedule (elective)

visit Melissa! (failure, she's visiting me instead -- yessssss)

go to work.

pay my bills.

set some money aside for a new (used) car.

walk the dog (she's got diarrhea).

one week left

In case you were wondering, DRH has one of the largest hyperbaric oxygen therapy chambers in the US. We can smuch 14 burn victims into one of these:

Here's an inside view:

My prison, where I roam the halls wearing the white mantle of surgery slavery:

One week left of surgery! New 2nd and 3rd year residents on the team. Just counting my days until I can get back to a daily sleep schedule. I've got pediatric EM next which means I still don't get a normal sleep schedule, but at least I get to sleep once per 24 hours and my nights are rolled forward. Come to think of it, really no doctor ever gets a normal sleep schedule. Well maybe PMR/rehab doctors? Can't think of any physiatry/rehabilitation emergencies that require an on-call attending. Psych has emergencies, radiologists have to take call... maybe dermatology.

The worst part of being on-call so often is that I often forget where I parked 38 hours ago. Stupid parking deck.

Also I never have time to eat or pee during floor call so I've lost about 6 lbs since the beginning of the month -- this despite eating utter crap when I do find time to eat. Mostly candy bars, odwalla, cliff bars, espresso drinks with cream, mac n cheese from the hospital cafeteria (it's always under the heat lamp and takes 2 seconds to get some), mountain dew, and chewing gum to keep the hunger at bay and fight the coffee breath. I wonder if I'll get a bladder infection from holding it too long ....

Interestingly, my skin has not reacted to all of this -- it looks the same as it always does. So surgery so far makes me thin and unhappy.

Side note - last eye appointment tomorrow. Cleared to wear contacts again, yesssssss!

And here is a picture of the family, driving to the mall: